"You Can Heal Jealousy!"

by Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Coaches

Jealousy is a problem that many people deal with on a daily basis and
usually they have no idea that it is an issue that can be healed.

They can have jealousy issues with other people's things, success, beauty,
athletic prowess, relationship, kids, education, money, and life. It can be a
twinge of a feeling or it can be an overwhelming sensation of fear that drives
them to say and do things that they wouldn't do otherwise.  In its extreme, it
can lead to divorce and separation from their partners.

If you think it will go away by itself, it won't. Thinking that it will go away if
you ignore it will only prolong your anxiety and challenges.

The true reason a person has jealousy issues is usually not what's happening
on the surface like a partner's flirting with another person. It's usually about
whatever is lurking underneath that needs to be uncovered and dealt with. 
It might be a broken heart from a previous relationship or it might be poor
self esteem, existing for many years.

One thing we know from our own experiences and from the experiences of
our clients, the first step to changing anything in your life is first to become aware
of what you'd like to change and know that you can if you are committed to it.

You also have to become aware of your feelings. These feelings may be anger,
fear, sadness, or anything else that close you down and keep you from connecting
with those you love.

We've discovered that you can stuff your feelings and deny that they are there
until they become so big that you are forced to deal with them, or you can acknowledge
what you are feeling and make the commitment that you are ready to have another
experience in your life.  You are saying that you are willing to do what it takes to
heal that part of yourself.

If you want to overcoming jealousy, know that you can't point your finger outward
at others and say it's their fault. You have to be committed to changing yourself.

Here's a quick example of how jealousy can manifest itself and a couple of tips for
getting to the bottom of it.

Frank found that he was jealous of his new wife and didn't trust the men who worked
with her.  Even though she repeatedly told him that nothing was going on, he continued
to be suspicious and make himself miserable. In fact, he was driving his new wife away
from him with his unfounded jealousy.

Since he realized that his wife was faithful and that it really was his problem, he decided
to learn how to heal jealousy in his life. He began to shift his worrying and damaging
thoughts to more empowering ones as soon as they came up. He started focusing on
his life and who he was interacting with instead of being obsessed with his wife's life.

He discovered that his jealousy probably came from his low self-esteem that he always
tried to hide so he began working on building his self-confidence. Because this had been
a long-standing problem for Frank, it didn't happen overnight but little by little, his jealousy
began to ease.

If you are having challenges with jealousy that could potentially damage your relationships,
we invite you to look underneath and see what the real problem is.

Then you can commit to working on and healing these challenges and committing to making
some changes for the better in your life. 

For more relationship ideas, visit http://www.all-about-jealousy.com and our blog
http://www.SusieandOtto.com